Walk a mile in my shoes. Hell, walk 5 feet and you will see the struggle I endure every day. They call me strong, they call me tough. They see the calm exterior and the smile on my face. But inside I may…



The other day someone asked me if things would “go back to normal” once my husband got home from deployment. My instant reaction was to say yes, it would. But that conversation got me thinking about reintegration. I hear it’s a pretty difficult…


Ahhhhhh Father’s Day

This may well be one of the more complex holidays. There are many dimensions and components of it. As a mother, it is your responsibility to make sure your kids know it’s Father’s Day and wish their dad well. There are presents to…


The wall

Sometimes you hit a wall. This wall seems immovable, impassable. There is no way around it, over it, through it. You stand at the foot of this wall and it seems that much bigger. It’s daunting how high it is – you can’t…


Proud mom moment

I have become a master at organizing my day so that I can squeeze certain tasks into certain slots. There are some things around the ranch that I just can’t do with my youngest around, mostly things with the horses. This morning I…


Speed bump

The longer this deployment goes on, the more it feels normal to be without my husband. I have gotten used to capturing memories on video or photos to send to him. I have become accustomed to sleeping alone in our huge bed. I…


National Military Spouse Appreciation Day

Today is National Military Spouse Appreciation Day. Today is a day for me! But what on earth does it really mean? It depends on who you ask. A civilian will likely say it’s a day for those women who support their soldiers in…


Wobble boards and new normals

I’m not entirely sure what I expected to experience in my husband’s first deployment. The unknown for me has always held equals parts of fear and intrigue. It’s like I can’t wait to experience something new but at the same time I don’t…



Fear. It comes in so many forms and varying degrees. Everyone has known it in their life, no one is exempt from it. Fear can be based on a solid set of facts or it can be completely irrational. It can last a…


That darn cat

Remeber last week when I posted about my idiot cat who “launched herself at my door in a fruitless attempt to open it”? Well…. it turns out not to have been so fruitless after all. I found out today that somewhere along the…